For years I have nursed a small treasury of witty quips, snappy retorts and groan-inducing puns patiently waiting for the perfect moment to utter them.

And so it came to pass that I recently tuned in to a New York Mets preseason baseball game in progress when the gods bestowed on me a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to unleash a long-hoarded bon mot. The gift came in the form of a Taiwanese shortstop that the Mets had acquired from the Los Angeles Dodgers.  At the moment I turned on the television he had just gotten a base hit and was standing on first base. I glimpsed his jersey and my eyes rounded like a prospector’s whose pick has just opened a vein of pure gold. I snapped open my cell phone and speed-dialed my son’s number.  “You watching the Mets?”

“No. Why?”

“Do you know Hu’s on first?”

“Who?”

“Naturally,” I said.

In fact, the shortstop’s name is Hu Chin-lung and for his complete bio you may click here. But if you want to refamiliarize yourself with the classic Abbott and Costello routine that will be repeated ad nausuem in 2011 if Hu makes the team, here’s a reminder.

Abbott: You throw the ball to first base.
Costello: Then who gets it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: Now you’ve got it.
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You don’t! You throw it to Who!
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: Well, that’s it—say it that way.
Costello: That’s what I said.
Abbott: You did not.
Costello: I said I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You don’t! You throw it to Who!
Costello: Naturally.

If the Mets’ regular shortstop Jose Reyes is injured Hu will replace him. Of course! By whom will Reyes be replaced? No. Hu.

And as long as we’re on the subject, E-Reads carries two excellent baseball biographies by Kal Wagenheim: Roberto Clemente and Babe Ruth.  Check them out on Wagenheim’s author page.

Richard Curtis